The Long Road Home
by Smoochynose
Summary: A devastating loss leaves Lucy and Natsu with decision to quit Fairy Tail in order to find a way to heal.


**The Long Road Home**

**Prologue: The Shattered Pieces**

Natsu walked into the shop, feeling slightly nervous as he looked around the shop. What sort of thing would be an acceptable present? It had to be perfect. After all, as much as it had pained him, he had been gone for the best part of the month in order build up some much needed savings.

"What about that?" Happy asked, pointing at a small blue top.

Natsu shook his head. "Not big enough."

"That one?" he asked pointing at a giant teddy bear in the corner.

"Too big."

How on earth was he supposed to pick something out? There was so much. He picked up several plastic loops linked together. What on earth were they for?

"Hi. My name's Eva. Can I be of assistance?"

Natsu looked at the store clerk who stood to the side with an amused smile. No doubt he was not the first bewildered man who had walked in looking for a present. For once he didn't care that he was being laughed at, he latched onto the help.

"I need a present," he said. "A good present. Please help." There may have been a small amount of desperation in his voice. Happy snickered.

The assistant just smiled. "I'm sure we can find one. Do you have anything in mind?"

"Something with stars?" It came out more as a question than an answer. A small pause and he grinned brightly. "Yeh, something with stars."

"Stars?"

"Lucy's a celestial spirit mage," Happy replied.

"Ah. Hmmm … how about these, she said holding up a pair of blue shoes with pale white stars. "We also have them in pink."

Natsu looked at them critically. A month. He'd been gone a month. He shook his head. "It's not enough. I need something bigger. Better."

Eva lead him to a glass cabinet at the back of the room, opening up with a set of keys and pulling a small silver bracelet out and held it out to him.

He examined the delicate bangle, looking at the stars engraved in the side along with love hearts and other cutesy things that girls liked. It was sweet. But, although there were stars on it and Happy seemed to like it, it couldn't really be said to be star themed. He shook his head.

The girl sighed as she put the back in the cupboard and looking it up.

"Any other idea about what sort of thing you're looking for."

Natsu shrugged, looking around the store for ideas. "I need something special, something unique, something like, something like …" his eyes landed on a mobile hanging from the ceiling and grinned, "something like that!"

He rushed over to get a closer look. From underneath he could see the frame that the mobile hung from was a stylized sun and moon and various points and levels there were the constellations of the zodiac (something he wouldn't have recognized if Lucy hadn't seen fit to fix that hole in his education) with glass crystals shaped as stars that threw pinpricks of light across the ceiling and from each consternation hung a small glass figurine of what it represented.

"Pretty," Happy said with an awed voice.

Natsu smiled. "It's perfect." The smile cracked into a wide grin. "I'll take it."

Eva smiled as she unhooked the mobile from the ceiling and carried it over to the till where she carefully wrapped it up. As she did so Natsu looked at the blue shoes the lady had shown him first. He chewed his lip a bit before placing them next to the mobile, which Eva was wrapping in blue tissue paper.

Eva looked between the shoes and Natsu. He grinned sheepishly. "They're from Happy."

"Aye!"

"It's okay," she told him, "Nobody can resist the baby boots."

* * *

Lucy sighed behind the counter in the guildhall. Ever since she got pregnant she had been relegated to waitress and then (once some idiot had pointed out how the normal brawls could be a danger to her) she had been stuck doing bar work where there was a counter between her and flying objects, whilst everyone else came and went going off doing exciting things.

She was jealous, her feet hurt, and she missed Natsu. That last one sucked the most but they didn't have much of a choice if the both of them were going to take off work for a while once the baby was born. The job that had come up had been highly paid and within his skill range (not that said much these days), the only problem had been the time scale, which could be anything between two and eight weeks.

Mirajane appeared out of nowhere, placing a hand on Lucy's stomach and giving it a little rub. "Cheer up Lucy. Little Igneel will get depressed. Don't worry," she cooed at the protruding belly, "daddy's going to be home soon."

Lucy smiled. If Natsu had been there he would have recognized the beginnings of an annoyed edge to it. "Mira, can you take this order to table six?"

Mirajane smiled, dancing off with the tray of food.

Lucy looked at the counter with slightly less annoyance than before. After all, being stuck behind it meant less people who suddenly felt it was okay to touch her stomach. It had been sweet at first and she had been happy to share with her close circle of friends but she felt like a line had been crossed when people like Gajeel and Laxus began stroking her belly. Laxus especially. That was just weird.

The doors to the guildhall opened and like always Lucy looked up hopefully only to sigh in disappointment when it was only Cana. Then she readied a barrel that the girl was sure to order and, god, her feet ached.

As if reading her mind Mirajane returned, took one look at her and ordered her to take a break.

"I'm not incompetent," she snapped, slapping her friend's hand away as it went to her stomach once more. Lucy's hands flew to her mouth in shock and she flushed in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry. It just slipped out."

Mirajane just smiled. "It's okay."

"I'll think I'll take that break now," Lucy murmured making a hasty retreat over to the corner Levy was been sitting in. Five minutes later her embarrassment was fully forgotten as Levy blurted out news of her own.

"No way. You're pregnant too?"

Levy smiled, watching Gajeel across the room with a small blush.

Lucy wasn't sure what her first thought was. That it was so cute that their kids were going to grow up together or that it was brilliant that the guild was no longer going to be completely focused on her.

Of course it was the former that she voiced aloud.

"They're going to be the best of friends. I just know it," Levy squealed.

"Do you know the gender yet?"

Levy shook her head. "No. I'm only at twelve weeks."

Lucy groaned. "I'd do anything to be only twelve weeks again. I don't think I can take another month and a half of sore feet and people who think that it's okay to touch me without asking."

Levy laughed. "It can't be that bad."

"Just you wait. I'll have no sympathy for you when you come to me complaining."

Levy just shook her head and opened her mouth to say something when the guildhall doors burst open.

"LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCY!"

Lucy wondered why she even felt the need to look at the door every time it opened when Natsu announced his presence to the world anyway. She didn't have much time to wonder though because Natsu had crossed the room and swept her into a hug.

He buried his head in her neck, taking in her scent for a moment, before kissing her. "Missed you," he murmured against her lips.

"Missed you too," she replied, ignoring the guild's wolf whistles and cat calls.

Happy interrupted the moment by flying over with a bag. "We brought presents."

Lucy smiled as Natsu set her back down. Not minding in the least as the dragon slayer laid his hand on her stomach with an awed look on his face.

"He's grown so much." There was a hint of sadness mixed in with the amazement and Lucy knew that the last month had been as tough on him as it was on her.

Lucy just lent over into his side as he sat on the bench next to her, while Happy pulled two wrapped gifts out of the bag.

"Open mine first," he said excitedly pushing the smaller of the two towards her.

Everyone leaned in to watch as she opened it, making her realize at some point Erza, Gray, Gajeel, and half the guild had gravitated over. It was testament to how happy she was that it didn't annoy her and she could easily reason it off as the fact that little Igneel was going to be the first kid born in a few years to be into the guild.

A small coo escaped her mouth when she took sight of the blue starred baby booties.

"They're so cute," Levy squealed. The look in Gajeel's eye told Lucy the man was taking note.

"Thank you Happy," she said, giving the cat a kiss on the head.

She reached out to Natsu's present and carefully removed the tissue paper and then the protective newspaper. There were a few gasps around the group as Lucy silently lifted the mobile up and pinpricks of light were suddenly cast around the guild as light reflected off the crystal stars. It was beautiful.

Tears ran down her face and set Natsu off in a panic.

"What? Why are you crying? I made the wrong choice didn't I? I should've got the bracelet. I can take it back and -"

"No!" Lucy cut him off. "It's perfect. I love it."

Natsu relaxed and small smile spread across his face. "Really?"

"Really."

That night Lucy watched with a fond smile Natsu hung the mobile from a branch of the tree that grew in the middle of the house she had called home for more than two years now.

And everything was perfect.

* * *

Three days later Lucy was back in the guildhall laughing at the expressions Levy's face made as various people congratulated her on her pregnancy. Natsu was winding up Gajeel while Happy was telling Lily that the cat was going to be an awesome big brother.

"This round's on the house," Mirajane commented, as she brought over a tray of drinks. Lucy glared at the two glasses of orange that were obviously for her and Levy. She was thoroughly sick of the stuff by this stage. Couldn't they have something more creative for nonalcoholic drinks for once?

It'd be rude to turn the drink down though, so she accepted it with a smile.

Sharp pain flooded her abdomen and the glass fell to the floor with a smash as both hands instinctively reached to hug her stomach. Complete terror fell on her.

Silence fell.

"Lucy?" Natsu asked and she could hear her fear reflected in her voice.

"Somethin - ack - something's wrong," she cried. She was trembling, shaking so badly. There was so much pain. "The baby. Something's wrong with the baby."

She was absently aware of Natsu holding her, calling for someone to get a doctor, and oh god there was something warm and sticky between her legs and - and -and …

"I'm bleeding."

And then all there was only pain and fear and please-don't-let-this-be-real until she blacked out. When she woke she was well aware of being on a hospital room, along with the taut pull of stiches along her front. Natsu's hand was in hers and she pulled him onto the hospital bed until his arms were wrapped around her

She held onto Natsu like a lifeline, whilst a doctor apologized and that everything they could've done had been tried but they couldn't save the baby and they had to make a choice to save her. She was alive. But there would be no second chance at a family. There was no place for life to grow anymore.

She broke down in tears as the doctor left them to grieve alone. She screamed and sobbed and yelled as Natsu held her close, his head buried in her neck. For once he was silent, as bitter tears ran down his cheeks.

"Why?" she asked, demanded, sobbed.

But nobody answered.

* * *

The sun shone as they lowered the tiny casket into the ground. It was wrong. It should be raining. The sky should have been crying with her. She was surprised she had tears left. She had cried so much the last few days that there should have been none left.

But still they kept coming and unfair because Natsu hadn't cried since _It _happened. And she felt selfishly glad that he was being strong for her sake. But another part of her wanted to kick and scream that _didn't he care? _Which was so wrong because she knew he did but as much as she wanted someone to be strong so she didn't have to be, she wanted someone to cry with and only Natsu knew her pain.

Their pain.

As the funeral drew to a close, she was hyper aware of Levy's presence behind her. Under any other circumstances she would have welcomed her best friend's presence. But all Lucy could think about was how she lost her baby and Levy still had hers and it was unfair. And she hated herself for it. Levy seemed to be all too aware of this fact too, hesitating before offering her condolences.

Best not come near, Lucy thought bitterly, it may be catching.

Nobody else seemed to know how to act around her either. Not that she minded. She only wanted to be around Natsu. And Happy. Because even if Fairy Tail was family, those two were _her_ family and she wanted to, needed to hold on to them so tight that they couldn't just disappear on her too.

She sunk into Natsu and he held her tight with one arm and held Happy with the other, as if he read her mind. And when Lucy's knees gave in, Natsu sunk to the floor with her. The three of them stayed like that for hours in front of Igneel's grave. And when the rain finally did come it didn't make her feel any better.

She doubted anything could.

When they got back home, Natsu finally broke. It was the nursery at the side that did it. He screamed and shouted and threw stuff until the sound of the mobile smashing snapped him out of it. He fell into Lucy's arms as Happy sobbed at the side.

Natsu cried silently, soaking the black dress that she had quickly paid for before escaping the cloying sympathy in the shop keeper's eyes. Because everyone in Magnolia knew Natsu in some shape or form and so knew of her pregnancy and subsequently of _it._

"It hurts so much," Natsu choked out.

"I know," she said. If she didn't feel so bad she would have said it felt good to be the strong one for once. But as nothing was good all she could say was for a moment it hurt a little less as she focused on healing his pain.

But then that moment left and all there was left was an aching emptiness inside.

She looked at the broken mobile and a thousand shattered pieces of glass stared up at her. She had no doubt that it'd be easier to put those back together than it would be their life.

* * *

It took another week for Lucy to realize that she couldn't stay in Magnolia, in Fiore, anywhere her face would be recognized and that people would know. And that was just with them knowing about the miscarriage. It would be so much worse if they knew the rest of it. She felt sick at the looks she got whenever she was forced to go out, when her house was invaded by well-meaning visitors who brought that expression into her home. She couldn't stand it.

It took two days for her to bring up the topic with Natsu. She wasn't sure how he would react. She didn't expect him to smile sadly and pull out two half packed suitcases from under the bed.

"I was just waiting for you to say it."

It was the first time in what felt like millennia the tears she cried weren't of pain but from the relief of knowing that whatever happened Natsu would always understand and be there for her. Despite everything for a moment she felt lucky for falling in love with her best friend.

That night they broke the news to Happy, giving him the option to stay. He was disgusted they even thought he'd consider it. They boxed up all the things they had bought for Igneel and the next day they got up early enough that the guild would virtually be empty and carried the boxes and a sealed letter down there.

As expected only Makarov was there and though he hadn't been expecting it but he still knew the moment he saw their faces.

There was a moment of silence. Lucy placed the boxes she was carrying down on one of the benches. "These are for Levy and Gajeel. If they want them that is. I'd understand if they don't."

Natsu and Happy set their own boxes down. "There's also a crib back at the house but it was too much to carry and …" There was so much he couldn't say. And it'd hurt too much to come back when they were leaving. That they didn't want to risk seeing anyone else. That he the real reason the crib was still there was it hurt too much to take down that one last reminder. Instead he said, "And it's there if they want it."

"Are you sure you don't want to keep it. For when another comes along," Makarov asked, his heart breaking at the pain his children were in.

"There," Lucy's voice cracked and she had to start again. "There won't be another."

Makarov wondered just how much his heart could take. "Oh child."

"Please don't tell the others. I don't think I could bear it if they knew." Natsu pulled Lucy close his side. It was almost funny how much that had become her new home over the last two weeks. Well it would have been if it wasn't so painful.

"I won't," Makarov promised.

"This is for you," Natsu said handing over the letter. "To let the others know."

Makarov took the letter with great sadness. "Now. There's only one thing left. There are only three rules for any mage who wishes to leave Fairy Tail. One: You must never reveal sensitive information about Fairy Tail to others for as long as you live. Two: You must never use former contacts met through your being in the guild for personal gain.

"And three: Though our paths may have diverged, you must continue to live out your life with all your might, you must never consider your own life to be something insignificant, and you must never forget about your friends for as long as you live. Natsu, Lucy, Happy, whenever you feel ready, know that you can always come home."

All four had tears in their eyes at this point.

"Yes, Master."

"I know."

"Aye, sir."

And though Lucy knew she would always have a place in Fairy Tail, she just didn't know whether she'd able to fit into ever again. She feels a small loss (nothing like the unbearable one that consumes her) as the pink symbol dissolves from her hand but it also brings her a small amount of comfort. It's a new beginning.

They returned to the house one last time, picked up their belongings and the savings that were supposed to keep them going in the first months of parenthood, and left for the first time not as members of Fairy Tail but just two mages and their talking cat. And though it was sad, she felt a little bit better than yesterday.


End file.
